Rune #1

I was pretty intrigued by Malibu Comics's Rune from the beginning - I knew that Malibu was a comics company created by a handful of creators who wanted to increase the visibility of nonwhite characters in superhero comics, and it seemed like a pretty weird choice to write a book starring a white beefcake antihero in shitty goth makeup. Then I realized that I was confusing Malibu with Milestone, and I was much less perplexed.

The titular character, Rune, is a vampire from outer space who eats souls and absorbs their power into a bunch of costume jewelry gems he keeps in a bag around his neck. As he mopes around in New York city, some business is going on in Africa with the remaining space vampire crystals that is more interesting but less comprehensible than the main story, so we'll stick with the latter.

Probably the main reason that Rune never became a quirky cult figure in the world of third-string comics publishing is that he is intensely unlikable and boring. Check out this full-page spread:

(Above: yawn.)

Now, I know this was written years before the kids went all crazy for their Twilights and their True Bloods and their Buffys the Vampires Slayers, but there's something pretty crucial the creators could have done to instantly appeal to a wide audience of rabid fangirls: make Rune hot. Specifically, make him beautiful, yet, masculine, with a cold broodiness that just makes you want to comfort him, even as he rips your throat out (and he does indeed rip a woman's throat out later in the comic). But no, he's apparently supposed to be interesting to thirteen year old boys who consider themselves to be pretty twisted, and who are supposed to go wild for this aging steroid abuser, prancing around with his bag of lucky charms. I mean, seriously:

(Above: This is allegedly supposed to be sexy)

There's so much going wrong in the top panel: The woman, wearing only a leather jacket, shrugging as she feigns interest in Rune's hobbies, the nautical flare that she's inexplicably lit, the unidentified animal with a "good grief!" expression, Rune's single terrifying bullseye nipple, etc. All of this is is miniscule in the face of the wrongness that this woman finds Rune hot. Two pages later, Rune's supermarket vending machine knickknacks attack him and the comic just ends. Interestingly, a little background research informs me that Rune has cancer, which I guess is kind of a funny twist, but not intriguing enough to make me want to read more.

SPECIAL BONUS! There's an even shorter Rune comic bundled with this one, and it features the Winner of the Wizard Create-A-Villain Contest! Confusingly, it's also numbered as Rune #1 (September 1996), but as I spend my days as a mild-mannered serials librarian, I can tell you that this sort of tomfoolery is in no way out of the ordinary. Rune looks way more orc-ish in this one, because they can't even keep his design consistent within two issues with the same numerical designation. Anyway, the real meat of this is the winning villain - who could it be?????

(Above: It is A'Charr, the Scarred God!)