Marvel Chillers: The Thing in the Glass Case

So technically, this wasn't a comic, and it actually wasn't so bad, either. It's a chapter book for elementary school kids, the kind of thing you get a reluctant reader who loves those X-Men, but who won't sit down and read a "real" book. [Side note: I actually learned a lot of great vocabulary from X-Men books back in the days when Bard College grad Chris Claremont was writing - dude loved his fancy words] It's by my favorite Wolverine writer, Larry Hama, who is also notable for making G.I. Joe actually good and for creating Bucky O'Hare long before Ninja Turtles, Battletoads, Usagi Yojimbo, and the like.

Anyway, the story's acceptably spooky, and Special Guest Stars Wolverine and Jubilee are refreshingly in-character, and it's not even actually a comic, so why did I decide to write about this? LOOK AT THIS COVER:

(Above: Click for larger IF YOU DARE)

HOLY CRAP WHAT IS GOING ON HERE. Wolverine is bad enough, with his shirt that wrinkles alarmingly in ways physics dare not explain, and his muscles bulging out like goiters, and his neck that is somehow larger than his face, but Jubilee? Jubilee reaches new levels of terror. I have no idea what her upper body is doing, nor why her lower legs appear to be about five times as long as her thighs, nor WHAT HAPPENED TO HER EYES

(Above: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

Her face is so distressing that it took me a while to realize that Wolverine's legs stop somewhere behind the bike and never return:

(Above: See that "Chilling Poster Inside" seal? The poster is a larger version of the cover. Chilling indeed, Marvel. Well played.)

While I'd recommend the story for any kid who likes X-Men and who likes to be mildly spooked, I'd also recommend that you tear the cover off first. Kids don't need that kind of trouble.